【現代の修験道】
今朝の新甲子温泉は快晴です。紅葉に色づく旭岳をはっきりと望むことができます。午前中は紅葉シーズンを前に地区の草刈や清掃をしました。源流の森にはらはらと落ち葉が舞いなんとも落ち着いた風情です。
週末にハセツネやOSJ KOUMI100など国内のビッグレースが終わり、落ち葉を踏みしめる静かな山歩きが心地よい季節になりました。トレイルをスポーツのフィールドと考えるトレイルランナーにとっても風景を楽しみながらのんびり歩く山歩きは魅力的です。時々ハイカーから山を走って何が楽しいのかと聞かれます。
いろいろな説明ができると思いますが、多くの人がオーバートレーニングになるほど魅せられるのは脳の快感を得られるからだと思います。いわゆる脳内麻薬は運動負荷を上げないと分泌されませんので、通常の山歩きではそうした気分になることはありません。山道を駆け下りる瞬間は直感的な快感がありますし、今やっている運動に集中できマインドフルネスになれます。辛さを通じて自分の内面に向き合ったり新しい自分を発見したり、自分を鼓舞したり、普段の平穏な生活にない変化を与えてくれます。とりわけ昨今の100マイルレースに見られるように自分の限界に挑戦することは、人生における大きなチャレンジになります。山の景色を楽しんだり、運動をして気分がよくなったという楽しみを超えた、より精神的な快適さであり、山を修行の場ととらえる現代の修験道なのだと思います。
【Modern mountaineering asceticism】
Shinkashi Onsen this morning is clear. I can see Asahidake turning autumn colors clearly. I did mowing and the cleaning of the district in the morning ahead of colored leaves season. Dead leaves fly in the forest of the source and are very calm taste.
A domestic big race including Hase Tsune and OSJ KOUMI100 was over on the weekend and became in the season when quiet hiking to step cautiously on dead leaves was comfortable. The hiking to walk leisurely while enjoying scenery for the trail runner who regards a trail as the field of sports is attractive. I am sometimes asked about the mountain by a hiker on the run what is fun.
I think that it can give various explanations, but it thinks the pleasant feeling of the brain to be because I am provided that many people are charmed indeed by overtraining. Because it is not secreted when the drug in so-called brain does not raise exercise load, there cannot be the thing feeling such by the normal hiking. There is an intuitive pleasant feeling at a moment to run down a mountain path and I can concentrate on exercise doing now and make Mindfulness. I face each other through hotness in one's inside and discover oneself new and encourage oneself and give everyday peaceful life the change that there is not. In particular, challenging one's limit as seen in 100 miles of races of these days in the life big; is challenged. I enjoy the scenery of the mountain and I exercise and it is mental comfort beyond the pleasure that became comfortable and thinks that it is modern mountaineering asceticism to regard a mountain as the place of ascetic practices.

【労働の全体性】
仕事のオンとオフを分けない生活を始めてから1年が経ちます。明確なオンもなければ、海外で休暇を過ごすようなオフもありません。仕事に飽きれば山や阿武隈源流、温泉に行きますので、仕事のオンを意識することがありません。
政府が掲げる一億総活躍社会の実現に向けた「働き方改革」が話題になりますが、それは労働時間の削減といった枝葉末節な話ではなく、オンとオフをなくすことだと思います。しかし、企業にあるのはオンとオフを隔絶するものばかりです。息苦しいスーツ、満員電車やオフィス、朝礼や会議、高まるコンプラ熱、規則や制度、機能しない情報インフラなどです。オンとオフを分けないということは労働の全体性を取り戻すことだと思います。生きるために働いていた自然発生的な行為が高度に制度化され、それはすばらしい利点をたくさん持っているのですが、他方で生きるという働く意味を見失わせたと思います。
【Whole characteristics of the labor】
One year passes after beginning life not to divide ON and OFF of the work into. If there is not the clear on, there is not the off spending a vacation abroad. Because I go to the Abukuma source and the hot spring if I get tired of work, I may not be conscious of on of the work.
"Way of working reform" for the realization of 100 million total activity society which the government advocates becomes the topic, but thinks that it is to lose ON and OFF not the story that is the minor details such as the reduction of working hours. However, it is only a thing separated from it in ON and OFF that the company has. It is a choking suit, a crowded train and an office, a morning gathering and a meeting, a rule and a system to increase, the information infrastructure which do not function. I think that it is to regain whole characteristics of the labor not to distribute ON and OFF. The spontaneous act that acted to live is institutionalized highly, and it has a splendid advantage a lot, but thinks that I let you lose sight of a meaning to work to live in the other.

【チャレンジが寿命を伸ばす】
今朝の新甲子温泉は暖かな晴天で、夜明け前は月と星がきれいに見えました。昨日はトレイルレースのハセツネが開催されました。一年前のレースでは水がなくなり苦しんだのですが、レースを終わってみると美化されて楽しい思い出になります。それゆえ人は望んでまた苦しいレースに出るのだと思います。こうした辛いのにいやな思い出にならないメカニズムは、おそらく脳内麻薬の作用だと思います。人間の限界が近づくと分泌される神経伝達物質により鎮痛効果や気分の高揚・幸福感などが得られるからでしょう。苦難に立ち向かう高揚感はどこか麻薬的な魅力があります。加えて、ストレスに対するチャレンジを繰り返していると、脳はストレスの反応を有益なものだと予測するようになり、寿命を左右するテロメアを慢性的ストレスから守るそうです。
【The life lengthens it a challenge】
A month and a star were seen in Shinkashi Onsen this morning by warm fine weather neatly at the break of day. Hasetsune of the trail race was held yesterday. Water disappears and suffered from the race one year ago, but it is cleaned when I end a race, and it is in a fun memory. That is why I think that the person expects it and goes to the hard race again. I think that probably such a mechanism not to become the sleeping dog in being hot is action of the drugs in the brains. This will be because uplift, the feeling of happiness of a painkilling effect and the feeling is provided by the neurotransmitter which is secreted when a human limit approaches. The elation to confront hardship has drug-like charms slightly. In addition, the brain comes to predict a reaction of the stress when I repeat a challenge for the stress when useful, and there seems to be the effect to protect telomere controlling life from chronic stress.

【人生にはスパイスが必要】
今日の新甲子温泉は夏を思わせる暖かな一日でした。昨夜は以前の職場の9人の方に宿泊してもらいました。経営に関する有益なアイデアや示唆をもらうと同時に、東京で働いていたときの記憶が戻ってきました。東京でのサラリーマン生活と今の生活は一長一短ですが、今の生活は予想していなかったことが起きる点で刺激的です。
今日はトレイルレースの代名詞でもあるハセツネの日です。昨年ぼくが最後に出たレースがハセツネで、かつ初めての60km超のレース、初めての夜間走行、そして初めてリタイアしたレースです。気候を読み誤り少なめの水でスタートして40キロ過ぎの給水地点でもらった1.5リットルの水分をその場で飲み干しリタイアしました。平穏な人生にはトレイルレースのようなスパイスが必要だと思います。このあたりの山のシーズンは終盤を迎えていますが、長距離のスピードハイクに行きたいと思う日々です。
【The life needs spice】
It was the warm day when today's Shinkashi Onsen harked back to summer. I had you stay towards nine people of the former workplace last night. Memory when I worked in Tokyo returned at the same time to get a useful idea and suggestion about the management. Office worker life in Tokyo and the present life are good points and bad points, but the present life is stimulating at the point where what I did not expect gets up.
It is a day of Hase-Tsune which is the pronoun of the trail race today. The race that I went for last is Hase-Tsune and is a run and the race that I retired for the first time last year in a race more than first 60km, the first night. I misjudged a climate and I drank up 1.5 liters of water which I started and took at 40 km mistake water supply spot on the spot and retired it on rather less water. I think that the spice such as the trail race is necessary for the peaceful life. I reach the end game in the season of the mountains of this neighborhood, but am the days when I want to go for a long-distance speed hike.

【鹿の湯の効能】
昨日の夕方は那須湯元温泉の鹿の湯に行きました。ここでは山と温泉が唯一の娯楽ですが、さしてお金もかかりません。17時頃には高温浴槽の回りを固めていたレジェンドが帰りますので、夕方以降の鹿の湯は浴槽を独り占めできます。レジェンドのなかでも最古参と思われる84歳の男性と話しました。昭和50年代から那須に家を持ち、年間200日は那須でゴルフや温泉、残りは東京で仕事をしているそうで、まさにぼくが理想とする働き方です。実際に鹿の湯の高温浴でがんの進行が止まった人や、歩けなかった人が歩けるようになる姿を見てきたといいます。ぼくも効能はいくつか実感していて、肌あれは治りますし、パエリア作りで火傷をしたあとも早く治ります。何より高温浴槽は脳が快感ならしく、身を沈めるなり思わず声が出ます。交感神経が高まるらしく帰路の那須甲子道路ではいつもより運転がハイペースになります。
【Effect of Shikanoyu】
I went to Shikanoyu of Nasu Yumoto Onsen on the evening of yesterday. A mountain and a hot spring are the only entertainment here, but it shines, and the money does not hang, too. Because the legend which I hardened around a high temperature bathtub at about 17:00 returns, Shikanoyu after the evening can monopolize a bathtub. I talked with an 84-year-old man considered to be oldest in a legend. I have a house in Nasu from the 50, Showa generation, and staying golf and a hot spring seems to work in Tokyo in Nasu for 200 days a year and is a way of working that I right idealize. It is really said that the person whom the progression of cancer stayed in by a high warm bath of Shikanoyu and the person who were not able to walk watched the figure which becomes able to walk. Some effects realize me, and skin that is cured and it is early and is cured after having burnt itself by the making of paella. The high temperature bathtub sinks the body that brain establishes a pleasant feeling above all, a voice appears unintentionally. Sympathetic nerve seems to increase, and driving becomes the high pace more than usual on the Nasu-Kashi road of the way home.

【冬はもう目の前】
今朝の新甲子温泉は日が時折姿を見せるものの肌寒い朝です。甲子のシンボルである旭岳の山腹が紅葉に染まっているのが見えます。この季節になると温泉の湯温が下がり長時間の入浴が楽しめるようになります。昨夜は月明かりで温泉から見るブナの森が青白く照らし出され幻想的でした。森の木々の葉が散り、温泉から那須連山を望めるようになりました。積雪で白く染まった那須連山に美しいモルゲンロートが現れる季節もそう遠くありません。
気候変動の影響か年々春と秋がなくなっていくような気がします。昔なら気候がゆるやかに移り、春や秋を楽しめた記憶がありますが、今は夏が終わったと思ったら晩秋の風情で冬は目前です。
１年間新甲子温泉で暮らしてみて、一番好きな季節をひとつ選ぶなら、森が一気に生命の息吹に包まれる新緑の初夏です。今年はその時期に初めて花粉症を発症しなかったことも大きな理由です。しかし冬も大好きで、寒いだけの東京と違い、阿武隈源流の森は神秘的な静寂の張り詰めた空気に包まれます。
【In winter already the very soon】
Shinkashi Onsen this morning is chilly morning of the things that a day occasionally turns up. I see that the hillside of Asahidake which is a symbol of the one of the zodiac signs is dyed autumn colors. When it is this season, temperature of the hot spring falls down and comes to be able to enjoy long-time bathing. It was pale, and the forest of the beech to watch was picked up by moonlight last night by the hot spring and was fantastic. A leaf of the trees of forest was scattered and became able to see the Nasu Mountains from the hot spring. So far-off in the season when beautiful Morgenrot appears in the Nasu Mountains who turned white in the snow.
It is the influence of the climate change or feels like losing autumn in spring year by year. A climate moves gently and remembers that I was able to enjoy spring and autumn, but is near at hand with taste in late fall in winter in old days if I think that summer was over now.
I live in Shinkashi Onsen for one year, and election beech and others, a forest are early summer of the fresh green wrapped in breath of the life at a stretch with one most favorite season. It is a big reason this year that hay fever did not develop for the first time at the time. However, I love it in winter, and the forest of the Abukuma source is wrapped in tense air of mysterious quietness unlike only cold Tokyo.

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【巨樹の博物館】
今朝の新甲子温泉付近は気温が3度まで下がったものの日中は暖かい晴天です。今日は午前中会津若松で打ち合わせがあり、日の出前の大内宿に寄ってから東北百名山の小野岳（標高1,383m）に登りました。ブナやミズナラに覆われた静かな山は、大内宿の登山口から距離が5.57km、累積標高が726mあり消費カロリーは335kcalで往復に1時間16分を要しました。広葉樹の森は見慣れていますが、山頂手前の尾根に広がるブナとミズナラの巨樹は圧巻で、さながら巨樹の博物館のようです。
会津若松はむしろ暑く半袖で過ごせます。途中巨岩に建てられた左下り観音堂を見ました。鎌倉時代初期に創建され幾度かの改修を経た木造三層懸造りの建造物は、街中にあれば観光スポットになっていた豪壮な建造物ですが、山中に人知れず建っている風情です。
山に登り日の出前の大内宿や高瀬の大木、神指城跡、向羽黒山城跡など、いずれも人の気配のない早朝の観光地をめぐっても9時の打ち合わせに間に合うのが地方都市ならではです。
【Museum of the giant tree】
The Shinkashi Onsen neighborhood this morning is fine weather warm in the daytime of the things that temperature fell to three times. There was a meeting in the morning in Aizu Wakamatsu and climbed the Mt. Ono of 100 Tohoku mountains (1,383m above sea level) today after I stopped at Ouchijuku before the sunrise. In the quiet mountain covered by a beech and Quercus crispula, distance was 726m in 5.57km, accumulation altitude from the starting point of a mountain climb of Ouchijuku, and the calories-out needed one hour 16 minutes for coming and going in 335kcal. I get used to the forest of the broadleaf tree, but, as it were, a beech and the giant tree of the Quercus crispula opening in the ridge of the mountaintop this side are like the museum of the giant tree in the best part.
I can spend Aizu Wakamatsu with short sleeves rather hotly. I looked at Sakudari Kannondo built to the huge rock on the way. The wooden 3 stories building which it is founded early in the Kamakura era, and passed through repair of several degrees is the magnificent building that it was in the tourist attraction if in a town, but is taste built in the mountains in secret.
It is local city Ouchijuku before the sunrise uphill on the mountain and that is in time for a meeting at 9:00 even if big tree of Takase, God finger castle trace, whichever including Mukaihaguro castle go round the early-morning sightseeing spots which there is not of the signs of life.

【人の助けがなければ何もできない】
今朝の新甲子温泉は昨日とは打って変わって雪でも舞いそうな寒い朝です。一年前の昨日、初めてこの新甲子温泉に来てから1年が過ぎました。昨年も昨日のような暖かい快晴の一日で、ぼくは一目でこの阿武隈源流の自然に魅せられました。それまでのキャリアとは全く異なる旅館を買うという無謀な選択をさせたのは、何も成さずに人生を終えたくないという恐怖心だと思います。何かを成すのは主体的な行動であり、与えられた仕事ではないと思います。
もちろん、山登りと温泉三昧の生活ができるというよこしまな考えも大きかったのですが、この一年で多くのことを学びました。一人で山に入り何度か遭難しかけましたし、サラリーマン時代はどこか偽っていた自分らしさを取り戻せたことも大きな変化です。一番大きな学びは人の助けなしには何事も成せないということです。この一年色々なことを一人でやってきましたが、人の助けがなければ何もできないことに気づけたことこそが最大の学びです。
【Nothing is made without the help of the person】
It is the cold morning when Shinkashi Onsen this morning changes completely yesterday, and even snow seems to dance. One year passed after I came to this Shinkashi Onsen for the first time yesterday one year ago. On a warm clear day like yesterday, I was charmed at first sight last year by nature of this Abukuma source. It thinks that it is a sense of fear not to want to finish the life that let you choose it which is reckless that I buy the inn which is totally different from the previous carrier without forming anything. It was an independent action to make something, and was given; think that do not work.
Of course mountain climbing and the wicked thought to be able to live a life absorbed in a hot spring were big, but learned most in this one year. I enter the mountain alone and was about to meet with a disaster several times, and it is a big change slightly in the office worker times that I was able to regain a quality of oneself who feigned it. It means that biggest, learning can make nothing without the help of the person. I did various things alone for this one year, but it is the greatest learning that I was able to notice that it is possible for nothing without the help of the person.

【犬は幸せの先生】
今朝は宿の前の阿武隈源流とは違う、赤面山方面から流れ込む沢を歩きました。ここも渓流沿いに長い遊歩道が整備され、紅葉の美しさで有名な場所です。途中にはキャンプ場もあり、宿からは往復9.93km、累積標高450m、消費カロリー499kcalの2時間弱の散歩になります。途中でラブラドールが前足をかばうように歩いていて、昨日の大白森山で肉球を怪我したのかしきりに舐めています。それでもいつも笑顔です。すぐに音を上げ不機嫌になる人間とはできが違います。昼間所在なげに惰眠を貪るラブラドールを見ていると、本当に幸せなのか疑問に思うことがありますが、日々ご機嫌でマインドフルネスな犬こそ、幸せの先生なのだと思います。
【As for the dog a teacher of the happiness】
I walked the swamp which flowed from the different blushing mountainous district surface this morning with the Abukuma source in front of the hotel. A long promenade is maintained along the mountain stream, and here is the place that is famous for the beauty of colored leaves. There is the campground on the way, too and is taken a walk of a little less than two hours of coming and going 9.93km, accumulation 450m above sea level, calories-out 499kcal from a hotel. I walk so that Labrador protects the forefoot on the way and lick it to finish doing whether you injured a meat ball in yesterday's large cup Moriyama. Still it is always a smile. Human being which we give up immediately, and becomes displeased is different. I doubt whether it is really happy and may think that I watch Labrador coveting idle slumber idly, but think that the dog which it is happy every day, and is mindfulness of the happiness in the daytime.

【人間本来の能力が復活する】
今朝は4時に宿を出発して那須連山北端の大白森山（標高1,642m）に登りました。往復19.19km、消費カロリー1,086kcal、累積標高1,263mと赤面山、甲子山より負荷が高く往復に4時間を要しました。それでも8時半の行政区のリサイクル品収集の時間には十分に間に合います。
朝4時はまだ暗く、森に入り空の視界をふさがれると視覚が奪われます。視覚が使えなくなると聴覚、触覚、嗅覚が鋭くなります。聴覚で阿武隈源流の沢音との距離をはかり、足の裏の触覚は地面の状況を伝え、嗅覚は草木の匂いをかぎとり、自分の居場所の手がかりになります。さらに身体全体が重力の変化を感じ傾斜をはかることができます。ヘッドライトは持参していますが、使わないことで人間本来の自然を嗅ぎ取る能力が復活してくるようです。
甲子峠付近ではツキノワグマと思われる大型動物がすごい勢いで森へ入っていきます。ツキノワグマは100mを7秒台という人類より早い驚異的なスピードで走れるそうです。
【Human being original ability revives】
I left the hotel this morning at 4:00 and climbed large cup Moriyama (1,642m above sea level) at the north end of Nasu Mountains. Load needed four hours for coming and going highly from coming and going 19.19km, calories-out 1,086kcal, accumulation 1,263m above sea level and a blushing mountain, a one of the zodiac signs mountain. Still I am in time for time for recycling product collection of the administrative section of half past 8 enough.
4:00 a.m. is still dark, and sight is robbed of it when I enter the forest, and the empty view is blocked up. When sight is not usable, hearing, the sense of touch, sense of smell become sharp. I measure the distance with the swamp sound of the Abukuma source auraly, and the sense of touch of the sole conveys the situation of the ground and the sense of smell smells the trees and plants and takes it, and it is to the clue of one's place to stay. Furthermore, the physical whole feels a gravitational change and can plan a slant. I bring the headlight, but ability to smell human being original nature in what I do not use, and to take seems to revive.
The large animal thought to be the Asiatic black bear goes into the forest by great force in the neighborhood of one of the zodiac signs mountain pass. The Asiatic black bear seems to be able to run 100m in the speed that is earlier than the human called the seven seconds level.

【人間本来の能力が復活する】
今朝は4時に宿を出発して那須連山北端の大白森山（標高1,642m）に登りました。往復19.19km、消費カロリー1,086kcal、累積標高1,263mと赤面山、甲子山より負荷が高く往復に4時間を要しました。それでも8時半の行政区のリサイクル品収集の時間には十分に間に合います。
朝4時はまだ暗く、森に入り空の視界をふさがれると視覚が奪われます。視覚が使えなくなると聴覚、触覚、嗅覚が鋭くなります。聴覚で阿武隈源流の沢音との距離をはかり、足の裏の触覚は地面の状況を伝え、嗅覚は草木の匂いをかぎとり、自分の居場所の手がかりになります。さらに身体全体が重力の変化を感じ傾斜をはかることができます。ヘッドライトは持参していますが、使わないことで人間本来の自然を嗅ぎ取る能力が復活してくるようです。
甲子峠付近ではツキノワグマと思われる大型動物がすごい勢いで森へ入っていきます。ツキノワグマは100mを7秒台という人類より早い驚異的なスピードで走れるそうです。
【Human being original ability revives】
I left the hotel this morning at 4:00 and climbed large cup Moriyama (1,642m above sea level) at the north end of Nasu Mountains. Load needed four hours for coming and going highly from coming and going 19.19km, calories-out 1,086kcal, accumulation 1,263m above sea level and a blushing mountain, a one of the zodiac signs mountain. Still I am in time for time for recycling product collection of the administrative section of half past 8 enough.
4:00 a.m. is still dark, and sight is robbed of it when I enter the forest, and the empty view is blocked up. When sight is not usable, hearing, the sense of touch, sense of smell become sharp. I measure the distance with the swamp sound of the Abukuma source auraly, and the sense of touch of the sole conveys the situation of the ground and the sense of smell smells the trees and plants and takes it, and it is to the clue of one's place to stay. Furthermore, the physical whole feels a gravitational change and can plan a slant. I bring the headlight, but ability to smell human being original nature in what I do not use, and to take seems to revive.
The large animal thought to be the Asiatic black bear goes into the forest by great force in the neighborhood of one of the zodiac signs mountain pass. The Asiatic black bear seems to be able to run 100m in the speed that is earlier than the human called the seven seconds level.

【31年前と変わらぬ日々】
新甲子温泉は昨日、今日とも秋らしい快晴に恵まれました。昨夜は31年前に新卒入社した会社の同期14人が来てくれました。退職して18年が経とうとするのに今でも何かと気にかけてくれる同期の厚情には感謝するばかりです。不安な日々ながら前向きでいられるのはこうした友人の助けがあるからこそだと思います。今でも31年前の寮生活と変わらない印象の同期ですが、違いは夜0時前には寝て5時にはみなで散歩に行けたことでしょうか。
【31 years ago and days not to change】
Shinkashi Onsen was blessed with the beautiful weather like the autumn today yesterday. New college graduate synchronization 14 of the company which entered the company came last night 31 years ago. Though I retire, and 18 years are going to pass, I just still thank the kindness in the same period minding it all the time. It is forward, and what is thinks of assistant of such a friend in spite of being uneasy days. It is the dormitory life 31 years ago and the same period of the impression not to change, will it be still that it is different and sleeps before 0:00 p.m., and a walk was able to go in all at 5:00?

【自分が選ばなかった人生】
今朝も快晴で甲子山にラブラドールと登りました。秋から初冬にかけて歩きたくなる静かな登山道は歩いているだけで幸せな気分になれます。一転して帰路は気持ちよく走れるトレランコースで余計なものが身体から洗い流されていくような爽快感があります。距離14.81 km、消費カロリー811 kcal、累積標高928 m、往復2:44の一日を始めるのに適度な運動量です。
昨日は新卒入社した会社の先輩が、今日は同じく同期入社の14人が泊まりに来てくれます。結局ぼくは3度の転職で4社を経験して4度目は独立しましたが、いまや同期の皆は要職につき、一方のぼくはほぼ収入のない自営業者です。入社当時はこんな将来を予測できませんでしたが、自分が選ばなかった人生の行く末を今となっては想像することすらできません。
もともとぼくは予定調和の人生や行動しないリスクを恐れ、行動するリスクを軽視する傾向があるようです。それでも今の人生は、どこかスリリングで日々生きている実感があり満足しています。
【The life that oneself did not choose】
I climbed Kashi mountain by beautiful weather this morning with Labrador. I only walk the quiet mountain trail that I want to walk from the autumn to the early winter and can feel happy. I reverse myself, and, in the way home, there is the refreshment that a too many thing is washed away by a body in course of the trail running which can run comfortably. It is the momentum that is moderate to begin distance 14.81km, 811 calories-out kcal, accumulation 928m above sea level, a day of coming and going 2:44.
The senior of the company where a new college graduate entered comes today yesterday so that similarly 14 people of the entering a company stay in the same period. I experience four companies by 3 degrees change of job, and the fourth became independent, but everybody of the same period is the independent businessman where there is not approximately the income as for one me because of an important post now after all. I was not able to predict such future at the time of entering a company, but it is not possible even to imagine the future of the life that oneself did not choose when it becomes now.
Originally I seem to tend to downplay a risk to act for fear of the life of the Prastabilierte Harmonie and a risk not to act. Still the present life is slightly thrilling, and there is an actual feeling living every day and is satisfied.